main_4apr2019

import json
import requests
import time

TOKEN = '' #insert token here
URL = "https://api.telegram.org/bot{}/".format(TOKEN)

from telegram.ext import Updater, CommandHandler

def starts(bot, update):
  update.message.reply_text("I'm alive!")
  time.sleep(1)
  update.message.reply_text("Wait, that's not possible. I'm just a bot after all...")
  time.sleep(1)
  update.message.reply_text("Anyway, nice to meet you!")

def wedding(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("Tsk, shame on you, forgetting the details of this joyous occasion. If I had my way, I'd have you hanged for blasphemy.")
  time.sleep(3)
  update.message.reply_text("Anyway. leong and naki's wedding is officially on 23 March, 6pm, Flower Dome, Gardens By The Bay. Don't wear jeans!")

def pornstar(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("naki thinks she can be a pornstar")

def wong(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("wong is a brownhaired lesbian twink")

def leong(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("hoho homo! I love mob psycho! You're an Oreo O!")

def naki(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("MY BUTTHOLE IS ON FIRE")

def joo(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("I want to sleep but my hair is still wet :(((((")

def jy(bot,update):
    update.message.reply_text("I only love kang")

def list(bot,update):
  update.message.reply_text("Currently available commands: \n /starts \n /wedding \n /pornstar \n /wong \n /leong \n /naki \n /joo \n /jy")





def main():
  # Create Updater object and attach dispatcher to it
  updater = Updater(TOKEN)
  dispatcher = updater.dispatcher
  print("Bot is alive!")

  # Add 'start' command handler to dispatcher
  starts_handler = CommandHandler('starts',starts)
  dispatcher.add_handler(starts_handler)

  wedding_handler = CommandHandler('wedding',wedding)
  dispatcher.add_handler(wedding_handler)

  pornstar_handler = CommandHandler('pornstar',pornstar)
  dispatcher.add_handler(pornstar_handler)

  wong_handler = CommandHandler('wong',wong)
  dispatcher.add_handler(wong_handler)

  leong_handler = CommandHandler('leong',leong)
  dispatcher.add_handler(leong_handler)

  naki_handler = CommandHandler('naki',naki)
  dispatcher.add_handler(naki_handler)

  joo_handler = CommandHandler('joo',joo)
  dispatcher.add_handler(joo_handler)

  jy_handler = CommandHandler('jy',jy)
  dispatcher.add_handler(jy_handler)

  list_handler = CommandHandler('list',list)
  dispatcher.add_handler(list_handler)

  # Start the bot
  updater.start_polling()

  # Run the bot until you press Ctrl-C
  updater.idle()

if __name__ == '__main__':
  main()