This manifesto was written over an urge to improve software development in many companies we all worked on, where many professionals believe the best way to create simple and well designed systems is through concise, short and clear meetings where everyone know their role. The funniest part is that they actually believe coding is essential to get things working in production.
We follow these principles:
0 - It is forbidden to code during meetings because it is magically written by some mysterious being.
1 - Argue about the same thing over and over again in many different meetings and never actually solve the problem.
2 - Everything is urgent, lets schedule an urgent meeting to handle it.
3 - Schedule 8h day meeting to laugh, tell jokes and say how big and innovative the system will be (this is the most efficient step).
4 - If you have a question over a matter, schedule an urgent meeting (use email messages like... never).
5 - Hire as many developers as you can so you can take pictures of meetings to post on Linkedin.
6 - Use as many computational complex and cool words so no one can understand you.
7 - Never allow your software architect alone and silent concentrating to design a new system.
8 - Use as many agile methodologies your tech guru has demanded you to.
9 - Select just few skilful developers to handle all the hard work, so all other team members will be available to anytime meetings.
10 - Be always prepared for the HUH? moment, where your Project Manager ignores everything you say.